The separation process can be overwhelming, which is why it’s important to know how to get help with divorce. Establishing a divorce support network will help you make the right decisions emotionally, financially, health-wise and spiritually. Having these in place prior to proceeding will allow for a more seamless process.
There are different levels of support, depending on your needs and type of assistance you prefer. For example, support for divorced mothers who are dealing with young children will be different to divorce support for women who are older.
The following guide will help you start to think about what your support network might look like and how to go about finding those people.
What is a divorce support network?
A support network for divorce may include a group of people, individual experts, key resources or materials, or professional services. You may even look to include particular friends and family within your network that you know you can rely on.
The goal of your network is to provide advice and guidance as you make the many decisions required during the divorce process.
One thing many divorcees struggle with is wondering if they’ve made the right decision during each divorce stage. Having this network helps you work through what your options are and then to figure out what’s going to be the right path for you. Everyone’s circumstances are different, so you can’t always rely on following what someone else has done.
By establishing a support network for yourself before the divorce proceedings begin, you can get advice and guidance from friends, family and experts who may be able to help you make the necessary decisions during this difficult time.
When you’re fully supported, you also feel more confident. And that provides for a better, more seamless experience.
Where to start on how to get help with divorce
The hardest part is really knowing where to start. The support network you establish in this early stage can be key to how the remainder of your divorce flows. Before embarking on a difficult journey such as divorce, it is important to know that you are not alone.
Yes, it can be overwhelming when you look at every area you need to focus on. The key areas include:
What support will you need for each area? Determine which areas are highest priority for you or need focus first. For example, if you have to deal with the complexities of joint properties and child custody, but finances are an issue right now, you may want to address your financial situation first.
A first step with this might be going through the Financial Health Check workbook. This is a low cost option to audit your pre and post divorce finances, before moving onto legal support.
For someone else, it may be deep emotional wounds that are rendering you unable to make logical decisions or even holding you back from taking the first step. In this case, a divorce coach, therapist or online divorce preparation program will create clarity and calm.
Free help for divorce
You might be wondering how to get a divorce with no money. The internet is such a great resource now for self-help, free legal advice and financial support. Look for pro bono services, free community divorce workshops/programs or legal aid.
These are great places to start if finances are a concern for you. However, divorces can easily get complex and/or messy. Even if you go into divorce expecting your former spouse to be calm and rational, it doesn’t always end up that way. You may reach a point where a specialist divorce attorney will achieve better short and long term outcomes for you and your children.
The cost of a lawyer might seem daunting, but the outcome you receive may well be worth the investment.
What types of support for divorce are there?
In the age of the internet, the types of support available are endless. Professionals are constantly coming up with new ways to provide support that don’t require you sitting in an office with them.
The level of support you need will dictate which of these appeal to you most. You may also find that a blend of styles work, with high touch specialist skills required in one area and low touch general information best in another.
Here are a few to think about:
In-person or one-to-one services
The key reasons you might want in-person or one-to-one support would be for complex situations that require someone with a high level of skill, like an attorney. If you have a lot of finances or assets to manage, you may need a mortgage professional or financial planner. If the relationship between your ex husband or wife is difficult, then a meditation specialist may be required.
Not all one-on-one services require you to have a large bank balance. There are government-funded orgnaizations available to you for free or that are heavily discounted.
EXAMPLE: Our divorce coaching services mean a high level of support with someone who has been through a similar experience.
Online programs, workshops or courses
When you need general help to guide you in the right direction or to empower you to make your own decisions based on your situation, then doing an online program or even in-person group program can give you the information and resources you need to make smart decisions.
One of the benefits of online support for divorce is you can hear from experts without having to pay their premium prices.
EXAMPLE: Privately Preparing For Divorce is a great example of an online program that allows you access to advice from an attorney, pastor, spiritual healer, child therapist, medical doctor, insurance agent, mortgage planning specialist and more.
Online resources and websites
We’ve already touched on free resources available on the web, but some specific places to look are the many experts and organizations that provide information and blog posts throughout their sites. If you’re looking to enlist an expert’s services, going through their blog posts and free videos can help you decide if they’re going to be a good fit for you.
EXAMPLE: We are continually adding helpful information to our Option29 blog based on our clients’ experiences and questions to help empower you to make the right decisions. We also have the free How To Prepare For Divorce Checklist.
Who should you have on your divorce support team?
This list is by no means exhaustive. There are plenty of other people who provide support with divorce through each of the stages. That’s not to say you need to have all of these people on your team. You may need only a few key people. But these people are a great start with how to get help with divorce.
Your legal team may need:
- meditation specialist
- divorce attorney
Financial Support Team
Financial support could include:
- home leasing agent
- mortgage professional
- personal banker
- financial planner
- insurance agent (property, casualty, life, disability, and health insurance),
- title agent
Support For Physical Health
Your physical health has an impact on your wellbeing and mental health. What support will you need?
- massage therapist
- personal or transformation coach
- medical doctor
- yoga instructor
- personal fitness trainer
- physical therapist
Emotional Support For Divorce
The emotional side of divorce is probably one of the areas that’s hardest to manage on your own. You may include a:
- divorce coach
- therapist (for yourself and children)
- small group support
- self care specialist
- Spiritual healer or coach
Many of the people on this list are part of our Privately Preparing For Divorce program, where they provide the advice on the key areas in their field. If you need people specific to your area, please reach out and we’d be more than happy to share our specialist list.
Where to turn if you need to divorce with a child?
A divorce with children is always more difficult than if you only have to worry about yourself. There’s not just the issues of custody and alimony to navigate and deal with, but also the emotional impact divorce may have on your children.
It’s often when we have dependent children that we’re more concerned with how to get help with divorce, because we want the best for our kids from the process.
Working with a divorce coach can be a great start in helping you define exactly what you need for your situation. You can also seek out social workers or legal support.
Should you be your own divorce attorney?
Clients often admit their first concerns are how much an attorney might cost. Their second question is either: how can I get a divorce if I can’t afford an attorney OR can I get a divorce without an attorney?
If you know you and your former partner will agree on the divorce terms, then you may be able to file for a divorce without the need for an attorney. However, having a lawyer look over your agreement can protect you against anything that might come up in the future. Another option is using legal document preparers. They can’t give legal advice, but they can prepare forms and file them with the court. There are also online divorce services that provide similar services.
If you feel you don’t have the time or your emotions are too high, then having an outside person guide proceedings is worth it. This might mean using mediation. A divorce mediator can help you work through any unresolved issues and will cost a lot less than a lawyer.
In the end, the reason to use a lawyer is because they can see future problems and protect you against them. Even simply talking to some attorneys first through their free initial consultation may be worth the time investment.
Different clients have different needs, which is where giving a simple answer isn’t easy. Working through your situation with a divorce coach, for example, can help provide clarity and bridge any gaps you have.
Want instant help?
If you want to know how to get help with divorce instantly, then access Privately Preparing For Divorce. It’s the first step in providing you with the clarity and confidence to make your next step. Each expert provides tips and strategies for navigating divorce.